She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
