The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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