The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
