I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize