I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
