Walk of Shame. In a state park.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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