I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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