Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I love having hate sex.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
