Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
