I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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