Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
