How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
