you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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