no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
