I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
