She is in my trunk
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
