New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
