we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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