i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
