naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
