i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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