i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
