So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
