At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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