How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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