I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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