Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
