and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
