How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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