after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
