i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
