that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
