You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
