I skipped work to stalk him.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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