Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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