I showed him my bush... on skype.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
