Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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