from now on my penis is your penis
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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