No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
