if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
