All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
