i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
