I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
