I've blown a few things in my day
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
