Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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