In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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