I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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