Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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