East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
