Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
