the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
