so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
