Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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