Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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