Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
