Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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