He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
