Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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