i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
