just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
