"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
