good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
