it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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