i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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