if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
