ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
