I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
