i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
