just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
