I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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