I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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