Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize